I received my Call to Serve Sunday night. I have been assigned to labor in the Scottsdale Arizona mission for 3 months. While serving there, I will then receive another call to serve somewhere else! Crazy right? Not what I planned and not what I expected. I was very disappointed angry and sad at first, but today is much better.
In the book of Enos we read that Enos prayed ALL DAY long to the Lord. I always thought this part was odd and have never been able to relate to it!
Tonight I came across a quote from President Kimball. “How many of you, with or without transgression, have ever prayed all day and into the night? Have you ever wept and prayed for many hours? Have you ever prayed for five hours? Prayed for one hour? Thirty minutes, or even ten?”
I had to do some reflecting. I know that sometimes, especially after being faced with a hard trial, my prayers are long. And other times not so much.
Sunday night after being devastated by the news of my call, I knelt and prayed to my Father in Heaven. I let Him know how I was feeling, and how disappointed and hurt I was. I learned a long time ago a secret about prayer….I learned to talk to Him as though He were right there in front of me. It has been the best thing ever. I feel comfortable enough to tell Him everything I am feeling.
I prayed and asked Heavenly Father to bless me with courage and strength. Shortly after my Dad passed away I found myself struggling with anxiety and panic attacks. To a 9 year old, I had no idea why I was so nervous and sad all the time. I remember one night, after we all went to bed I got up and went into the laundry room. When you have anxiety attacks, you don’t fall asleep until everyone else has. So, I picked up the phone and dialed the only number I knew. I called my Aunt and cried to her over the phone. I cried and told her I was scared of going to school, scared of being the weirdo that cried, scared of Mom dying on her way to work or in her sleep. My Aunt is pretty amazing, and there is not a doubt in my mind that she wasnt prompted to say what she did. She first calmed me down, and told me that whenever I felt like crying I was to sing my favorite primary song in my head. My favorite song was “Nephi’s Courage”
But Nephi was courageous and this was his reply, I will go, I will do, the things the Lord commands
I still sing it in my head whenever I feel an anxiety attack coming on, or whenever I get extremely nervous or discouraged.
I was confused as to why I was to serve a mini mission first. I thought He didn’t trust me, or believe in me. I prayed that He would bless me with the courage to accept this call with a willing heart and mind.
Call me a dork, but I like to fill in the song with my name! “But haylei was courageous…I will go I will do, the things the Lord commands..” I have been given the call to serve in Scottsdale first, for a reason. A reason that I do not know or understand at the moment. But it is from Heavenly Father. He knows me more than I know myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely nervous to serve the people of Scottsdale. I pray every night to have courage. Courage to embark on this new journey. Courage to “accept the things I cannot change.” Courage to do what He wants me to, and to have an open heart and mind while serving.
Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
I have a prayer in my heart everyday that I will have courage to do hard things. I know and feel it in my heart that my call was inspired. I know that I am called to serve in Scottsdale first, for a reason. I know that my Heavenly Father DOES trust me, and that is why I am given this chance to share His gospel. I know that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Courage is near and dear to my heart. I am grateful for the courage I was given to get through the first couple years after my Dads death. It is something I treasure and reflect back on quite often. We must always have a prayer for courage in our hearts. To help us get through trials, courage to stand alone, courage to be able to wake up everyday even if we don’t exactly want to.
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says ‘I’ll try again tomorrow’
I have a testimony of personal prayer and its importance. If we pray 10 minutes every day, or 5 hours every day we will be blessed with the Lord’s strength. He loves us and wants us to come to Him through every thing in life. Happy or sad. I hope to become like Enos and find even greater comfort in pouring my soul unto the Lord and putting my full faith and trust in Him.
The world according to me 