It’s been a year exactly (almost) since I started the mission process. WHAT! I never thought I would be at this point! I leave in 13 days to serve a mission!!! Holy cow! The nerves are coming and I am freaking out!!
This last year has been far from easy. It has been a long hard road of “why me” and “this isnt fair”. If I have learned anything, its that life isnt easy. Its not supposed to be easy. I love the quote, “I never said it would be easy, I said it would be worth it.”
Last year was probably the worst year. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. I was so unhappy with everyone and everything. I was upset that I wasn’t on my mission. I was upset that I just kept getting knocked down. Trial after trial after trial. WHY. I didn’t understand!
I went to Camp Legacy last year. It was the best thing I have ever done, and would do it again in a heart beat! The most spiritual 3 days ever. I didn’t want to leave. I had an amazing zone and really truly grew to love them!
I cant talk about it too much because it’s a secret, but I’ll explain the best that I can.
The first night we were there we learned about carrying our burdens. I remember being given burdens, some small and others rather large. The more lies I told, the more trials that happened, the heavier my burdens got. By the end of the activity I was physically and spiritually exhausted. I didn’t want to go on. I didn’t know how to go on! But right as I was about to give up, right when I wanted to cry and quit, two loving arms wrapped around me. As this person helped me finish the way, I saw a picture of Jesus Christ ascending from Heaven with His arms wide open. The person that was helping me said, “Haylei, I cannot carry your burdens for you. But you have a Savior who is willing to help. Who is there waiting for you to drop your burdens at His feet.”
You are not forgotten…wherever you are, whatever the circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you, with an infinite love
I think it is so easy to forget that we are loved. During the activity, I was given different scenarios of burdens. I never knew that a sickness in the family, or even a death was considered a burden. I’ve always felt forgotten and that my burdens weren’t as serious or as important as others. I was so wrong.
I’ve really had to work hard this last year. I was put into awkward situations more often than I liked. I had to “undo” 10 years of grief and anxiety. I had to face my fears, and I had to create a relationship with Heavenly Father. And lemme tell you, it was not easy. It was wonderful, but it was not easy,
I would have never been able to make it through this last year without the help of Heavenly Father. It was really all him. I just prayed for the strength to change to do the hard work that needed to be done. I am not the same person I was last year. And that makes me happy. It makes me so happy when others notice the change too.
I know now that I can do hard things. I can do ALL things through Christ. I know now that I am never forgotten. I know and feel it in my heart that I am loved and watched over. I am so grateful for that. Especially now as I am leaving to serve a mission. I am so excited for the opportunity to share the gospel to others. I know where I would be without it, and it’s not a happy place.
So this post was kind of all over the place. But, I wanted to share that we are not forgotten, and that through Christ all things are possible. Don’t give up. The work is worth it.
God is in your corner. Everything will work out for our good.
The fight is worth it. Every late night spent crying, every awkward moment, everything was worth it. The greatest things happen outside of our comfort zones.
Trust in the Lord. He is there. He is there willing to help you. He is waiting for you with arms wide open. He loves you. He knows you. I know this now, and I am so grateful to have a relationship with Him. Cause now I know that I am never alone.
The world according to me 