My week mark was Tuesday of being in Ohio but I feel like I was still asleep from the crazy flight schedule and the weeks prior to that seeing everyone and then going back and saying goodbyes until Thursday! So happy 1 week of actually comprehending what is going on and accepting that this is my new home for awhile! 🙂 The butt smacking and nutella eating is still happening. And not only that, but I taught the baby squish that everytime we say UNZ UNZ UNZ she is to dance. It’s pretty darn cute and adorable, actually it’s just straight up legit!!
My blog will never be as wonderful as my missionary emails! There was just so much going on and so many interesting people it kept my emails pretty interesting and funny. My days aren’t as busy, and that is partly because I choose to be up nowhere near missionary schedule! 🙂 And the fact that I’m a normal human being now, and sleep is needed to get through life!
Ohio is wonderful. It is absolutely beautiful! Sure there are some dead trees still from winter, but even with those it is so pretty here! There are no cookie cutter homes like in Arizona! The people here are wonderfully nice! I don’t know what it is about the West, but we’re rude people! We maybe hold the door for people coming out of the store, but we definitely don’t talk to anyone! I do not have a west coast personality! I love random talks with people, as long as they start it 😉 haha! I’m just a little too shy to start the conversation! But really truly, all y’all should come to Ohio at least once in your life! It rained today, which was amazing! The sky was blah, no sky is as cool as AZ but ya take some ya leave some!
My mission truly could have done nothing better for my life! I mentioned in a facebook post how I KNEW it was going to bless my life, but I wasn’t expecting it to bless it this much! And thats the TRUTH! If any of y’all knew pre mission Haylei you knew I was a scaredy cat who liked to stay in her comfort zone! And now? I flippin’ moved to OHIO where I literally know 7 people, and five of them are tiny humans! AND I went to Institute by myself, for my FIRST TIME in institute here! Why couldn’t I do that back home? I didn’t even go and I had friends to go with! I don’t know. There is something to be said about being out on your “own”. You are free. You can be who you want to be. You can leave behind any drama you want. You aren’t expected to act a certain way, and no one remembers what you look like when you were awkwardly 13 because nobody knew you!! It’s wonderful to be free from that. I loved my mission for that reason. If I didn’t wanna share my story, I didn’t have to. If I was anxious about something, thats all you knew. You knew I was anxious. You didn’t know where that anxiety came from or anything like that. I could share what I want and leave out what I want. And that is freeing to me! For example last night at institute the teacher asked “tell me about your dad, what does he do for work!?” And I didn’t have to tell him. I just told him what my mom did haha! I like that not everyone has to know everything! That I get to be mission Haylei here, and no one knows any different! Alright, I’ve rambled on forever about this. BUT IT’S JUST SO GREAT TO BE WHO I WANT!! 🙂 Everyone should try it!
Besides being free and being who I want, I’ve also had the chance to really count my blessings! I am so blessed to be here. Here in this world, as a member of the church, as a returned missionary, in Ohio etc. My life hasn’t been easy, but really has anyones? We all go through trials, and have our own demons we deal with that people don’t even see. I am so grateful for who I have become out of all of it. Really truly. Not even in a “wow I’m so cool” way. If you had told 11 year old me about everything 21 year old me has done, I wouldn’t believe you. It’s not a lot. To y’all who have seen the world and are doctors now, it’s not much. But to me, who never thought I’d have a normal life because of debilitating anxiety and grief, this is HUGE! So I have so much to be grateful for, because there is no way I am at this point in my life without outside help. I am truly blessed with wonderful people in my life. But whats way more awesome is, I also have Heavenly Father on my side. There is no FREAKIN’ way I would be here in Ohio if it weren’t for His help. His divine guidance and intervention!
I believe we meet people for a reason. If you know me, you’ve probably heard me say that. I’ve probably said it to you! But I do. Every person, experience, trial, job, etc is for a reason! So what amazes me is how fast the spirit works. Does that make sense? I’ll just go ahead and share an example because I sound weird now. Like I said I’m living with this family I met on my mission in Mississippi! Not too random right? Like maybe a little but not a whole lot. Anyways. The crazy thing is, I was only in their area 6 months. January-June. We can already take off the first 2 months because I was way upset I was in Biloxi, so now we’re looking at 4 months, k? To make a long story short, I didn’t spend a whole lot of time with this family like I did other families. Not because I didn’t love them, or because they weren’t worth my time. That’s definitely not it. I adore them! But the few interactions I had with them during dinner appointments, or splits, or after tracting smoothies was perfect. I loved this family. I loved how I could be myself with them. Some people are so touchy feely and judgy and expect missionaries to be perfect. We’re not perfect. I loved knowing that I could be myself there. Of course still dignified, but silly. I could play with the kids or talk about music and how much I missed it. Whatever the conversation was, I never felt judged! That was a feeling that didn’t come all the time, nor with every person I met! Now 9 months later, the tag has been removed, and nothing has changed. The spirit works fast. Do ya kinda see what I mean now? I didn’t have to see them everyday to know I loved this family. I loved them the minute she came on splits with us. And it’s still true! They’re pretty great. Everyone deserves a Gillette in their life.
So do y’all see what I mean? Heavenly Father gives us exactly what we NEED. We may not expect it or even want some things sometimes, but He gives it to us. He gives us what we need because He truly does love us. He is aware of us. He wants us to succeed. He is our biggest fan. He is constantly cheering for us! Just like we thank our family and friends for being there for us, we need to thank Him as well!
I am blessed. Ohio is awesome already. I have new friends and even though I say I hate it..I really do love making new friends. That was one of the best parts of my mission…making new friends! People have so much to offer and are just so amazing, I loved hearing peoples stories! And by being here in Ohio I sorta feel like I’m on my mission again. Besides the uncanny resemblance Ohio has to Mississippi, I am free to be what I want to make of myself. No preconceived notions of others or expectations!! I love that.
I love y’alls faces. I’m still sorta treating this as a missionary email, but not as funny or detailed as explained earlier. Remember who you are!
There is no growth in the comfort zone, and no comfort in the growth zone!
The world according to me 