Take a walk with me down memory lane. Well not your memory lane, just mine. So picture newly graduated Haylei. It’s 2012, sorry if that makes you feel old! The summer after graduation a surge of families moved into my ward back home. There were truly so many it was hard to keep count. One day in the third hour of church, the leader tried to point out who all was new, and then proceeded to move on with the lesson. All of a sudden, an arm in front of me shoots into the air and said “excuse me, I’m new, and this is my name.” I remember being so impressed by her courage, no that’s not the word…Is there a word for this type of situation? A situation where, “you’ve clearly skipped over me and didn’t think anything of it, so I’m gonna go ahead and say something!?” Within the month, I saw her waiting in the foyer at church, and I awkwardly introduced myself and told her how awesome I thought it was that she said something! She’s not my age, her daughter is just a few years behind me, but I gained a friend. How? Because I put down my wall, and reached out!!!
The first two weeks in a new area as a missionary are SO FUN. You don’t know a soul, and it’s your job to go out and meet and befriend everyone. Yeah that’s right, EVERYONE. I so enjoyed my first few weeks in an area, because I loved hearing of everyone’s stories. Why are they here, how did they get here, what trials and struggles did they have to experience to be the person they are right now. In return however, I also was able to share a piece of my story with them, and in doing so I was able to become stronger, happier and a bit more free from burdens. There is a reason Heavenly Father puts us in certain places, with specific people. I never would’ve thought I’d ever leave Arizona once I came home from my mission, let alone move to Ohio! There’s a purpose for being here, I just dont know what that purpose is yet!
So basically there has been something that has been on my mind since I moved here in July. I’ve held off talking about it before, but I think it’s better to say it and regret it, than to not say it at all and regret that.
People are mean. I’ve made many wonderful and beautiful friends in my life, and I am incredibly grateful for them. If we are being honest, about 90% of my friends have come from my mission, and it’s easier to talk to someone with a name-tag on than without. I get that. Hear me out though. Have you ever moved somewhere and was completely ignored? Have you ever introduced yourself and the next time they see you, they called you Marissa? haha. #truestory
We all have walls that we put up, or a mask. We don’t want people to see that we are imperfect, even though the most perfect person to ever come to Earth has told us just that. No one is perfect. We are not meant to be perfect on Earth. So then why do we feel the need to hide our imperfections from others? Why are we so afraid to reach out and befriend newbies or even the intimidating looking old timers? What is stopping us? Friendship and love is the only way you’re going to make it through this life truly happy. Why are we so hesitant?
I’m not saying I’m innocent and talked to every newbie that moved into my home ward. I didn’t. It’s so easy to get comfortable and just stick to those you’ve known for awhile. I get that. But think about the wonderful friends and experiences you’re missing out on by not reaching out.
My second Sunday here I took the last available seat in Relief Society. I asked the girl if I could sit next to her and she said yes. I complimented her shoes and BAM Y’ALL. Instant friendship. What if I saw the last seat and just went home, because lets be clear it was in the front and I hate the front. I would have missed out on a truly beautiful person, who has had trials up the wahzoo but still comes to church. Who still lives everyday and has so much to offer. She said to me right before she moved back west, “I’ve been here a year, and you were the first person to talk to me!”
WHY is it like this? Like I said I’m not perfect. I’m far from it. If we are being honest, I’m beyond lonely here. Look up the song “Mr. Cellophane” and that is exactly how I feel. It’s like Meridian all over again. But I trust that there is a reason I’m here.
So really I have no ideas of how to help others take down their walls. I wish I had an idea or a fix for problems like this. The only thing I have to say is, if we just take down our walls, little by little or crash em all down at once, life would be so much more enjoyable. People have so much to offer and I saw that on my mission. I met incredibly talented people. I met people who had experience so much sorrow, yet they still smiled and reached out to help those around them. If I hadn’t reached out, I would be hiding the talents and the true person Heavenly Father created me to be and have. He loves us. He wants us to love His other children as well.
So yeah. End rant? I don’t know. Reach out to someone this week. Someone new, or someone you’ve passed a thousand times in the hallways at church or school or work. Everyone is fighting a battle, be that person to help them. Befriend them.
We’re all a little loser-ish inside. So break down the pride, and lets be loser-ish together!
Don’t be a butt. Reach out!!!!! Two quotes, direct from me to you! I do love all your faces, but I just think so many of us don’t reach out and appear to be jerk-face-ish and some don’t even know it. So I’m telling ya, ditch the RBF and let’s reach out. Alright. Love to y’all.
The world according to me 