I really can’t find the words to describe what these last 7 months have been. There were some ups, adventures, good food, but even more downs. I think Ohio was kind of a refiners fire for me. Sure I’ve had harder, deeper trials in my life, but I had never experienced this before. The transition from Sister Craig to Haylei was brutal. I went from knowing I had a purpose and had talents and gifts to offer to being silenced. Not that anyone was taping my mouth shut 🤐 but I felt like no one could relate-so they didn’t listen. Ultimately, I stopped talking. (I know, hard to imagine me not talking right?)
When Whitney was in Ohio she’d tell me how her time spent here was really for growth. That she had learned a lot about herself. I’d smile and nod, all the while thinking that she was crazy and I was gonna do and accomplish more.
She was right.
My testimony was tested harder here than ever before. Not that I doubted the gospel. I just wasn’t motivated to do anything.
Blah blah blah….
I learned SO much about myself. I learned that I don’t like the way I react to trials and hardships. I learned that I get real lazy real fast if there’s no one motivating me to act and change. I also learned that if you want results of any kind, you have to act first. I gave a good bit of effort when I first moved, but that quickly changed.
But the good stuff I learned? I’m a bomb nanny y’all. I also learned that we each have so much to offer, and that we need to break down the walls we’ve built and let others in.
The spontaneous trip to Palmyra could not have come at a better time. My reason for coming home early rapidly progressed and it was very unexpected. But I believe and know the spirit I felt over the weekend in NY has helped me to think more clearly and act so quickly.
When I first decided I would be leaving Ohio (back in October!) I felt like I was a failure for “giving up”. Y’all, that is not the case. Sometimes the Lord calls us to a place, just to move us shortly after. That was new for me, but I’m grateful for His hand in my life.
I’ll miss Ohio and randomly dipping into Kentucky on a daily basis. I’ll miss the beautiful scenery when it’s not dead winter outside. I’ll miss the wonderful people I was able to meet and love. I’ll miss the kiddos I watched. I will not miss their weird parents though 😂#donthate
I think there can be good found in almost every situation. I say almost because if I said all, I’d be lying. I’m sure there is good in ALL, but not for me…not yet.
Ohio refined me. I could be a little more shiney if I had put in more effort, but ya live and ya learn right?
For those about to embark on new adventures; REACH out. HELP out. DANCE it out. Do whatever you need to do to be happy and have fun. I’ve had more fun in the last 2 weeks than I have in the 7 months. Forget yourself, and get to work. Whether that’s physical labor to bring in the money 💰 or spiritual so you can continue to feel of Gods love..whatever! Don’t be a hermit.
My heart is blessed to have had this experience. I know my Savior lives and loves me. I know He is there even when I feel I don’t deserve it, and I’ve felt that way for the past 6 months.
So, peace out Ohio ✌🏼️
The good: I had adventures and experiences here that I never would have had.
The bad: I struggled, failed myself, and had crappy bosses
The happy: I met some of the most incredible people. I hopefully changed 4 kids lives for the better!
The sad: I had to say goodbye. 😭
Hashtag blessed. 
The world according to me 