Please don’t leave the church because you have been offended!

This is a touchy topic but I thought I would share how I felt about it.  This was written with love, I promise! 

We choose to be offended.

I’m guilty of this. We all are. Just because every time I go swimming and get sunburnt doesn’t mean I hate swimming or the sun. I do all that I can to make sure I don’t get burnt (SPF 500 anyone) but it doesn’t guarantee that it won’t happen. If I swore off swimming the first time I got a bad burn I’d be pretty miserable. Every family function is held at a pool. Though I couldn’t touch the water, I served right by the beach in Mississippi. What if the very thought of water just made me so mad because it wronged me by burning me? The idea is ridiculous right? It’s just a burn. It heals. It hurts like heck, but it heals.

The same is with being offended by people. We cannot control what others say or how they act. Sure, it’s despicable to treat someone so rudely, so unfairly.  It’s absurd that people make fun of others with disabilities, or the way they look. It happens. It hurts, but you heal. 

Some peoples words are so damaging for the soul. I’ve been there. I struggled for 10 years with a fear to eat in front of others because of a comment a rude 8th grade girl made to me at lunch. It hurt. I stopped eating in front of others and I was miserable. It still hurts when I think back on it, but I’ve healed. Not right away, but I’m better. Now? I don’t wanna be a big fat fattie in front of you, but I’ll eat with you. Heck, I might even spill on myself or all over my face. But I’ll do it. 

We all have been offended, and we’ve probably all been the offender .  Different circumstances, situations and life experiences make us more sensitive to some comments than others. We don’t know what everyone is going through. What may be their demon, may be easy for you, and vice versa. Instead of making comments, “did you see how bad her hair was?” “Why isn’t she over it by now?” “Did you hear what he did on his mission?” We need to be compassionate and have charity for the people in our lives.

I am in no way perfect. I get offended and I’ve offended others. I’m working on it. But I can tell you this, being offended by someone is terrible. It’s a horrible feeling, but in no way does it make it okay to leave the church. In no way does crossing out God for the rest of your life make the pain of being offended go away. In fact, you are signing on for a life of misery by doing so. God is perfect as is His Son. We are not. That’s right, you’re not perfect. Not even the Prophet is perfect, or the Pope or Donny and Marie Osmond. We are all imperfect humans trying to find joy in this life. We all make mistakes. We all have said something we shouldn’t have a time or two. 

I recall being offended right before my mission. I’ll spare the details because they really serve no purpose but I was hurt, as was my family. Did I say screw it, I’m not serving the Lord now? Did I throw away my testimony because this person chose not to think before she spoke? Did I stop speaking to God because His imperfect daughter made a poor choice? A choice that I’ve made before as well? No. By so doing, I would have been miserable. I wouldn’t have had the amazing experiences my mission blessed me with. I wouldn’t be who or where I am today. I wouldn’t have a testimony of God or His Son, and wouldn’t be able to draw comfort from the Plan they have created. No, being offended and writing off the church wouldn’t have been worth it. Just like it’s not worth it for you.

So instead of choosing to be offended, angry or done with God, stop and think for a moment.  Stop to think at what you’re jeopardizing if you were to get upset and leave. 

There is nothing more precious and pure in this life than the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He loves us and gave His life so that we could be here to learn and grow. He suffered so that we wouldn’t have to suffer alone. The pain you feel as someone is rude, is the same pain the Savior suffered. He was mocked, ridiculed and spit upon for what? Doing what He was commanded to do? But He suffered in the Garden so that you wouldn’t be alone.

Please don’t throw the gospel away for a petty comment. It is hard, I completely understand. Certain circumstances and situations may need to be taken further, especially if it is on going. But follow the spirit, and turn to God. He will help carry your pain and burdens. Instead of looking to retaliate, look at who you can serve and uplift, instead of bring down. I feel like I’m one of the Appstles at the pulpit of Conference when they get emotional and plead with us to follow Jesus Christ….I have lived life without the gospel and it’s not worth it. Sure there were happy times but nothing like the joy I feel as an active member in the gospel!