It’s no secret that these last few months have been some of the hardest months of my life. I truly am grateful for the people who have been so patient, kind, and uplifting!
A few weeks ago we had a relief society lesson at church about our fears. The object lesson was this; each woman was to write a fear they had and fold it up and hand back to our teacher. They were kept anonymous 😅 The teacher then drew a straight line down the middle of the board and likened it to the rope we climb in gym class. She lovingly read each “fear” one of us had written. She’d stop and ask if we had advice for this sister and her fear, and then on to the next one.
With fear present and dominating, we can’t climb up the rope to the top. Not just because of our fear of heights 😅 but because there is nothing faith sustaining to hold onto.
As we gave advice, ideas, and shared experiences little knots appeared in the rope. With each knot we were able to move closer and closer to the top.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not a tiny person 😂 so those knots had to be pretty huge to hold me up 😂
There isn’t a standard list of fears and if you don’t fear that particular item then your rope comes pre knotted…I so wish it could work like that! 😅 I think every rope, list, and life is unique and personal. No two lists are the same.
As I stand at the bottom of my rope staring up to see where it ends/begins I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with where life has taken me, and overwhelmed with all I have left to do. I don’t mean with what the Lord asks of us or the gospel. I think that’s a wonderful privilege we have. I’m referring to what the world wants, and what I want for myself.
I’ve been stuck the last few months. Devastated, hurt, depressed, and sad don’t even begin to explain the emotional torment I was in. Can I climb the rope? Must life go on? #truththough
☝🏻 That was my fear. Where was my faith in all of that? I’ll tell you….it didn’t exist! Not even the slightest bit. I prayed and went to church but my faith was lacking.
It’s a natural thing to fear. Everyone has fears, some more rational than others 😅 #alligators
I love that despite our thoughts and feelings and where we’re at in our lives that the Lord LOVES us. He never leaves us, not even when we feel like He has. It’s like the find my friends app on your iPhone 😂 He tracks us with his device and knows exactly where we’re at all the time. Of course His device is a little better than ours and can see more than just where we’re at. He never fails us.
I know that the Lord peeked at the app and saw where I was at and gave me a faith growing opportunity. I often receive answers to prayers through others, and the Lord is well aware of that. I received a text (not from God but how bomb would that be! Like “hey just checking on ya lol what’s up! Ttyl!”) 😅 from a dear friend of mine. There was nothing miraculous in the text other than it came right when I needed it.
My knotless rope was finally being put to use! Through that text I was motivated to move forward. Slowly but surely I was able to feel motivated to build my faith again. And I don’t want to brag but I think I’ve got like two knots in my rope now! 👏🏻
This has been one of the greatest weeks of my life. I’m blessed to be back in Mississippi, and on my beloved porch swing! I really thought I would never be able to escape the trials that burdened me. I was afraid that I would never make it to the top of my rope. This week of peace, solace, and tender mercies have proven to me once again, that God is aware of us and will never leave us. He has provided me with faith building experiences as I’ve visited with old friends, and new.
“But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.”
I am far from the top of my rope. Some of my trials will be life long, and I’m coming to accept that. Some days are better than others 😅
No matter how small you may feel, you are not small to Him! The greatest tender mercy I experienced was just today on my way to the airport. We were jamming out to some tunes and in the middle of it, my sweet friend turned to me and told me what I’ve been praying to hear. I was caught off guard and asked her to repeat it. Tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I love that I always have a home in Mississippi. I love that I’m a person in Mississippi because I don’t feel that way anywhere else.
I want you to have it all. If your rope is knotless, then let’s fix that together. If you don’t like going to church by yourself, let’s go together. If you don’t know how to work your instapot, let’s cook together! Don’t let the length of the rope discourage you from moving forward. Don’t let those around you discourage you. I want you to have it all, but so does our loving Father in Heaven.
The world according to me 